But Did You Die (kinda)

Square State Striders risked: life, limb, social credibility and HSA dollars this summer. Let's hear about it!

 

It’s been a busy summer for the Stapanowich family, although not all miles have gone according to plan.

Melissa kicked things off with the Jemez 15 Miler in May, earning a top-10 finish. However, the real highlight came upon arriving in New Mexico, when her K9 training partner decided to eat part of a toy, resulting in an emergency vet visit and one of life's top-10 most expensive credit card charges. 

Brandon’s High Five race was unfortunately canceled due to the fires, but he is still alarmingly fit. These days, he’s putting it to good use as a stellar guide, dad, and professional chaser of two small Squares. He also had the incredible opportunity to guide Kyle Coon for the first 26 miles of the Leadville 100 as Kyle attempted to become the first completely blind runner to finish the race. While Kyle's Leadville journey concluded at Mile 52, stay tuned for next year's attempt and reach out if you have any interest in guiding!

And finally, there’s a new littlest Square in town: Mabel Stapanowich! Mabel completed her first six-mile race riding shotgun in the stroller while Melissa tackled the Leadville 10K. At 10 minutes slower than her brother’s 2022 Leadville 10K time, she clearly has some work to do—but at least she’s starting the trail-running habit early.

JT Teisher has single handed kept the US Postal Service intact, at least until the midterm elections. 

Here's his latest reports and a self portrait.

Brian Hall

New team member, proud Custer co High grad, has done other stuff since I assume. 

"Race" 1: CMHS Milefest. Did a mile at son's request, just mediocre enough to avoid embarrassing him.

"Race" 2: Palmer Lake July 4. Running slightly downhill makes four miles easier, but the floppy USA top hat was not aerodynamic.

"Race" 3: CMHS Twilight. Did the two mile slog in an unremarkable time but with remarkable fashion with a flowing wig to properly embarrass my son.

Ruth Black learned a lesson in immune sensitization and nature's karma.

While running with girlfriends at 5:45am on the Santa Fe trail, I was talking smack about my Kindergartner's rebellion against our vegetarian ways. In true karma fashion, a bee stung me in the lip. "Are you allergic?" one friend asked. "No, actually I was even stung on my lip while running last year, too" Half a mile later at the Edmondson trail head, I decided to turn back to the car because I felt like poop. I chalked it up to my month off running. But within two minutes I was seeing tunnel vision and felt like I was about to black out. I slowed to a walk, then sat for a while, then tried to walk - which quickly turned into a crawl - and then I just laid down. It was 6am on a cool Saturday morning on the Santa Fe, surely someone would be by soon?!I was feeling nauseous so I kept my eyes closed, but I kept looking up at the Park n Ride parking lot above me. A white passenger van had its window down so I was pretty sure someone was up there. A full 20 minutes later, my good Samaritan Dakota finally called down asking if I needed help. He tried contacting my husband (no luck) then called 911. By this point I had my shoes off because my feet were hella itchy, and I was dry heaving into the grass. By the time EMS arrived I was shivering uncontrollably. The rest is sort of a blur - a fine crew of Station 12 firemen figured the best way to get me into the ambulance was by carrying me up the concrete embankment into the park n ride lot. Sadly I didn't get to really enjoy that once-in-a-lifetime experience. Once in the warm ambulance, I told the guys I actually needed to puke. Wish that wasn't part of the story, but I felt a lot better afterwards. Enough so that when we drove past Criterium I offhandedly mentioned that my phone and wallet was in my car parked just right there. The EMS busted a u-turn and grabbed them for me, so I immediately called my husband (who was on a bike ride) and when he answered I just said "I'm on the ambulance" and his response was entirely too calm. When we arrived at Grandview, I was transferred onto the hospital bed. It was only then that my blankets slipped off and the EMS guy said "Woah, that wasn't there before" - my entire body was broken out in hives. There's now an awesome mug shot in my UCHealth chart of an incredibly swollen face, too. The ER administered epinephrine, Benadryl, a steroid, and an IV and I was discharged 4 hours later. The hives continued to move throughout my body the rest of the day, but I was completely okay within 2 days. At discharge they gave me a prescription for my own epi-pen. I asked if I had to use it anytime I got stung, or only if I experienced a reaction. The nurses' response was: "Not going to lie, it's only going to get worse from here" I have since been approached by no less than 7 friends or coworkers who personally know someone who has died of a bee or wasp sting out of the clear blue. Apparently, every time you get stung, your manufacturers settings can get tweaked. You can develop a bee sting allergy at any age, even if you have been safely stung in the past. Also I learned that a $10 medication was privatized a few years ago so they now cost over $100/pop and expire every year. Joy. Stay safe out there friends!

Adam Rich took it easy this summer and only did these races and by time of post has only raced the past 13 weeks consecutively. 

Miles for Melanoma 5k : 1 st place 15:55 I think. Race started

25 minutes late, and between standing around and the heat, my legs were done from

the start.

Father's Day Classic 5 K: 1st place, 16:09. Hot weather

and a pretty humid morning.

Before the 4 th “5K.” Not great when the pre-race email states the race will be

between 3.20 and 3.30 miles…. 1 st place, 17:11. Very windy conditions and very warm

out there.

Palmer Lake 4m 6 th place 20:44. Not a great day, and I didn’t feel very well at

all.

Cookie Chase 5k : 5th place again… 15:35. Not great, not bad.

Heritage Eagles 5k: 5th place again… 15:44. Always fun to run the Liberty

Bell course. Race was so-so.

The Heroes Journey 5k : 1st place, 16:09. Very warm morning

out there. The course had 8 turns in the first mile, a 180 at 1.55 and another 8 turns

back to the finish. Not a fast one at all.

Run for the Ring 5k : 1 st place, 15:40. Took two wrong turns in the

first half mile…. Ok effort; pretty warm conditions out there.

Arapahoe Warrior 5K: 1 st place, 16:07. This is one of the harder courses I have

run. The last half mile is completely uphill. Three straight wins at this event.

Miles for Migraine “5k” (not even close) 1 st place 14:55* again that’s a nope

on the time. Results showed 15:22; not even sure how that happened. Nothing to really

say here.

Jeffrey Eggleston is lucky we at the Square State Striders are big fans of grade inflation, so here's his winter report:

The quest for sub 2 is finally over, but that may not even be my biggest update. A shift toward 400 training this indoor season has reinvigorated my running and may become a more permanent direction going forward. The 400 has been a steep learning curve: stumbling goofy-foot out of starting blocks, going from invincible to blackout anaerobic in under 40 seconds, and learning how to fight for pole position before the bell. I've still dabbled in a few "distance" races, including a 9:29 2 mile at City Park and a 4:08 1500 (both eerily close to my high school PBs). But the 400 feels like the perfect new challenge for my masters racing journey. More to come on the track this summer. Catch me in a 400m-200m double!

 Potts Invitational 400m, 56.40, 29th

 Colorado Invitational 400m, 56.39, 13th

 Colorado Classic 800m, 1:59.75, 34th

USATF Masters Indoor 400m, 55.10, 7th

 USATF Masters Indoor 800m, 2:01.23, 3rd

 City Park Circuit 2 mile, 9:29.34, 10th

 Jerry Quiller Classic 1500m: 4:08.25, 21st; 800m: 2:00.79, 14th

Denver Distance Classic 800m, 2:02:52, 4th

  

Rationing races all summer like diesel fuel (very topical depending on when you read this). 

Mile High Mile in Boulder was an exceptional opportunity to get trounced by high schoolers in a different county, which oddly felt pretty similar to getting beat by high school kids in El Paso county. Neil McDonagh was able to eek out a non last place finish in this exciting track race in 4:23.0 , taking several tenths off his Colorado masters mile record. Retreating to the semi-climate controlled confines of his basement treadmill, Neil was yet to emerge until the Cheyenne Mtn Twilight XC opener: taking the neighborhood citizen race crown in 10:40 over 2miles of XC creativity. Capping what hopefully is the end of summer with a combo double race morning at the RINO 5k/Mile: clocking 15:52 and 4:35 in a one hour span. Even did the pretentious thing of wearing different shoes for each race. Won a nifty backpack (and gifted the 2nd place masters backpack prize from friend of the club Anthony Bruns so that his children didn't disown him for bringing home an unshareable treat). 

I have found a wonderful example for a task that can't be accomplished by AI. Sorting through Gerald and Kari Romero's absolute monolithic race reports. I encourage you to not to skim as there are some written and visual gems scattered about, along with what I can only imagine are mild to moderate cases of tendinitis.

PLATTE RIVER HALF MARATHON 

PLATTE RIVER TRAIL DENVER 

Gerald (ME)- 1:27:50

1ST PLACE 50 PLUS AND 3RD MASTER OVERALL AWARD.

KARI-2;16:09

WALT DISNEY WORLD SPRINGTIME SURPRISE HALF MARATHON WEEKEND

EPCOT FLORIDA

10K 

ME- 41:11

1ST PLACE 50-54

KARI(KARI)- 57:27

SPRINGTIME SURPRISE 10 MILE

ME- 1:11:07

2ND PLACE 50-54

KARI- 1:44:11

CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN TRAIL RUN 7 MILE

CHEYENNE MOUNTAIN STATE PARK

ME- 53:50

4TH OVERALL

1ST MASTER AWARD

KARI- DID THE 25K

3:33:23

1ST 45-49

5 MILE

GARDEN OF THE GODS

KARI -50:32

8TH FEMALE

THE COLORADO HALF MARATHON

FORT COLLINS, COLORADO 

POUDRE CANYON TOO NEW BELGIUM BREWERY

ME- 1:26:12

3RD MASTER OVERALL AWARD

KARI- DID THE MARATHON

5:40:01

KARI- MAD MOOSE VALKERIE 8 MILE

WOMENS ONLY RACE

1:45:28

KARI RAM PARTY 60K

RAMPART RESIVOIR TOO BUFFALOE LODGE

8:44:30

COLFAX HALF MARATHON

DENVER CITY PARK

ME- 1:30:48

KARI-FARISH HALF MARATHON RAMPART RESIVOIR ON AIR FORCE ACADEMY PROPERTY

3RD PLACE FEMALE OVERALL AWARD 10TH OVERALL

BOLDER BOULDER

10K-ME- 40:53

KARI- ANGEL RUN 10K  AT RED LEG BREWERY

KARI-  THE STICKS 72 HOUR ULTRA IN KANSAS

KARI GOT THE 100 MILE BUCKLE

KARI ALSO WAS IN A TORNADO THAT HIT DURING THE RACE .    I WAS NOT THERE.   THEY HAD TO TAKE SHELTER.  THE RACE CONTINUED AND SHE GOT THE 100 MILE BUCKLE

RAGNAR TRAIL AT SNOWMASS COLORADO

KARI DID THE 24 HOUR SOLO RUN

THE GREAT DIVIDE ULTRAS AT MUELLER STATE PARK , DIVIDE, CO

KARI- 25K 

3:25:36

9TH FEMALE OVERALL

THE COLORADO SPRINGS DOWNHILL MILE

ME -5:55

2ND GRAND MASTER

KARI- 7:52

GARDEN OF GODS 10MILE RUN

ME - 1:08:09

2ND 50-54

KARI- 1:31:34

KARI -- RING THE SPRINGS 50K 

8:42:40

SLACKER HALF MARATHON AND 4 MILE

ME-- 4 MILE- 9TH OVERALL

8TH MALE OVERALL

24:55

1ST 50-54 AWARD

COMPETED AGAINST THE ENTIRE KANSAS CITY HIGH SCHOOL CROSS COUNTRY TEAM 

THE FIRST FEMALE WAS ONE OF THE HIGH SCHOOLERS THAT BEAT ME IT WAS AN EXCITING BATTLE 

KARI-- HALF MARATHON

1:58:04

MOUNT BLUE SKY ASCENT ( FORMERLY MOUNT EVANS )

ME-- 2:12:54

2ND OVERALL PLACE

$150 PRIZE MONEY PLUS MY TROPHIES 

KARI-- 3:23:34

KARI- ROCK IT HALF MARATHON  IN CASTLE ROCK

2:52:26

VAIL HILL CLIMB 

ME-- 2ND 50-59

THE COOKIE CHASE 5K, 

ME- 19:44

KARI-- 26:44

10K AT 10,000 FEET , VAIL, COLORADO 

ME-- I DID THE 5K AT 10,000 FEET

VERY HILLY 

26:04

1ST PLACE 40-59.     

BARR TRAIL MOUNTAIN RACE

GERALD- 2:07:39

1ST 50-59 AWARD

KARI-- 3:24:20

KARI-- PIKES PEAK ULTRA 20K AT BEAR CREEK PARK TOO HIGH DRIVE 

2:46:03

SHEEP MOUNTAIN 50K

KARI-- 50K

9 HOURS 40 MINUTES

GEORGETOWN TOO IDAHO SPRINGS HALF MARATHON 

GERALD-- 1:28:58

1ST PLACE 50-59 AWARD

WON A GOLD MINING PAN WITH GEODE ON IT VERY COOL AWARD. 

KARI-- 2:06:17

GERALD -- 37 TOTAL RACES FROM JANUARY 1ST TO AUGUST 14, 2026

KARI-- 52 TOTAL RACES FROM JANUARY 1ST TO AUGUST 14, 2026

  

Epic Pass was a fail but the racing was Epic!

 

    The Square State Striders wasted no time during Colorado's false winter. Likely a good choice since the summer could likely be a blanket of smoke at this point. People raced everything from 400 meters to 100 miles. Some had injuries. Some had babies. Some cried (probably). Here's the roundup. 

Ruth BlackI got the most insta-worthy race pic at Run Through Time half in Salida March 13th (attached).

Gorgeous course, glad I went with a tank top and shorts because it got hot and super windy.

Still amazed at how fast the lead marathoners rip down the mountain. I'm a baby on descents,

and proud of it.

SRAM held their 3rd annual "850 Short Track" relay race last week. An e-bike, 4 MTB's, and a

runner from each team... costumes encouraged. 0.35 loops around the perimeter of the office,

although this year the runners sprinted through the warehouse as part of the wild course. I ran

for two teams less than 20 minutes apart, and we proudly took 1st and 4th place.

I was subsequently sore for 4 days straight.

Mad respect Ruth, I stopped running by your work because of the antipathy of drivers heading to the gun club a block away.

Here's JT's report. Squint all you want but he sends reports without asking and before any of the others. Get out your readers, you'll be impressed.

Samantha Wood: 

The only race I’ve run is a DEKAFIT race to try out for the All-Guard Endurance TeamThis was my 4th tryout race and 3rd time winning for the females. Despite my advancing age,

the jorts I wore clutched the victory.

Fun fact, two out of the three athletes representing the California Army National Guard don’t

even live in California. Probably the high taxes.

*actually Texas has dramatically higher proper taxes than California

Gerald and Kari Romero:

I am convinced that Gerald and Kari got a jury summons in 2016 and have been getting

deferments ever since under the claim they have a race vacation planned.

Gerald and Kari kicked off their race season at the Honolulu Merrie Mile in December, where Gerald ran 5:54 (1st, 50-54) and Kari ran 8:31,followed by race weekend where Gerald ran the Honolulu 10k in 42:54 (2nd, 50-54) and Kari completed the full marathon in 5:10. After Kari's major vascular surgery on December 31st, she walked the Rescue Run 5k on January 1st while Gerald ran the 10k in 42:04 (1st, 50-54). At Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend, Gerald ran the 10k in 40:43 (1st, 50-54), the half marathon in 1:30:19 (2nd, 50-54), and jogged the full marathon with Kari in 4:57, with Kari completing all four Dopey Challenge races just one week post-surgery. At Key West, Gerald ran the 10k in 43:09 (1st, 50-54) and the half marathon in 1:31:55 (4th, 50-54), while Kari completed the Big Pecker Challenge.

At Disneyland's Dumbo Double Dare, Gerald ran the 10k in 41:56 (1st, 50-54) and the half marathon in 1:29:46 (2nd, 50-54), earning the Coast to Coast medal, then immediately drove to Huntington Beach

and ran the Surf City 5k in 20:08 (1st, 50-54). Gerald ran the Superbowl Half Marathon in 1:31:18 (1st, 50-54) for his 14th completion, then at Las Vegas Rock and Roll, ran the 5k in 19:28 (1st, 50-54) and the half marathon in 1:28:12 (3rd, 50-54). At the Disney Princess Weekend, Gerald ran the 10k in 40:54 (1st, 50-54) and the half marathon in 1:28:40 (2nd, 50-54), racing alongside Des Linden. At the Moab Run the Rocks 3-Day Stage Race, Gerald won the overall half-pint division with a combined time of 4:43:39, while Kari completed the full-pint stages including a half marathon, full marathon, and 12-mile

run. Gerald then won the RRCA 10k State Championship at the Shamrock Stampede in 41:29 (1st, 50-54), and most recently completed the Behind the Rocks 10-Miler in Moab in 1:21:18 (3rd overall) while Kari finished the 30k.

Denver area road racers over the last 25 years dare not whisper the name 'Adam Rich' into a darkened mirror 3x ,

or else he'll appear and steal their prize money.

Adam opened the year at the Polar Bear 5k in January with a 16:40 (2nd place), feeling off after a month without racing. He rebounded strongly in February,

winning the Super Bowl 5k in 16:08, the Valentine's Day 4-Miler in 20:26, and the Ralston Creek 5k in 16:17, setting the fastest time on that course in years. March was his busiest month,

winning the Dam Run 5k in 16:03 (his fastest on that course since 2017), the Running of the Green 2-Miler in 10:33, and the Donut Dash 5k in 16:12 before taking 2nd at the St. Pats 5k in 15:55 after getting outkicked near the finish. He also ran the City Park 2-Miler in 9:50 (14th place). April brought wins at the Donut Dash 5k in 16:12 and the Tortoise and Hare 5k in 16:24. Adam has logged four sub-16 performances on the year across multiple courses, showing strong

consistent fitness throughout the early season.

Lars Heckman, probably wears compression socks more than anyone on the team, but just for work. We are all waiting for him to start posting Oceania and Asian race results because Square State is really lacking in representation in those continental race scenes.

3/22 Central Park 5K: First race in 18 months. Finished just off the age group podium but I did certify myself as a villain passing two preteens on my way to a 20:45.

4/25 Salt Lake Marathon 5K Edition: This race had an & walk at the end of it. So I figured, like most people with unnaturally low VO2 Max's, the walks and Fun Run's are where all the glory is found. Long course at 3.17K, possibly due to the ducking and dodging of a 5k/10k mass start and lots of rookies pushing their way to the front only to slow me down. 20:37 was good for age group title.

Neil McDonagh raced track in January and had the most old guy injury of hurting himself 36 hours after a race because he wore track spikes for the first time in over 10 months. But was able to bounce back and like the guy with the roller backpack in Econ 202, pretended to be a college athlete again racing in Boulder and Denver against some young fellas. Clearly as he ages he'll have to seek out racing younger competition, sounds like one of those tech CEO's.

Denver Athletics 1600m: 4:25 

CU Boulder Jerry Quiller outdor track: 1500m: 4:05

Runnin the Green 7k: 22:24

Potts Invitational indoor CU Boulder: mile: 4:27