Wednesday, August 9, 2023

Every Distance Ever Measured

 The Square State Striders have been out in force for the past month. Racing distances from a measly mile to 100 miles (likely a few extra on their Garmin). Lets get to business and highlight some great performances. 


Ruth Black, decided to put everyone's feelings on FMLA at the Summer Sizzler 5k. Glad you could make the best of our country's utterly unsustainable lack of childcare.

"Summer Sizzler 5k - a surprisingly tiny downtown race where nearly everyone who showed up podiumed in their age group. Pushed nearly 110 pounds of double stroller and toddler weight, and overpacked on fun snack incentives. Couldn’t find a babysitter while Jared (husband and Square State lurker) crushed 5 laps of the 719 ride (he was useless the rest of the day, and check out that helmet hair). 23rd overall, 25:24, 1st AG and most proudly, first stroller. "




Brandon Stepanowich, went into the mountains a man and returned a man but with more blisters at the High Lonesome 100 Trail race. 

"After surviving the Colleegn De Reuck Cross Country 8k in November 2022, Brandon took the logical next step and returned to the racing scene at the High Lonesome 100. The course takes runners on a tour of the southern Wasatch mountain range with alpine sections that follow the Continental Divide and Colorado Trails. Brandon had flawless crewing support from his wife, Melissa, son, Felix, and his 'Grandparazzi' (parents and mother-in-law). He was paced by Zach Miller who, while on the course, submitted a 4.5 star Yelp review for the sliders at the Purgatory aid station-“you must have them with ketchup.” Brandon finished 2nd in a time of 22 hours and 25 minutes. Most notably, he had no poops during the race and spent a cumulative time of 24 minutes at aid stations. This was the least amount of time among all the competitors and, coincidentally, the precise duration of Jeff Mohrmann’s Peloton rides with Olivia."




Sam Wood spent almost exactly 2 whole days racing the nastiest elevation that can be found in the Lower 48, on purpose and paid out of her own money I can only presume. 

"For my birthday on Friday, July 21 at 0800 I began hiking the Ouray 100. Ouray has nearly 42,000ft of elevation gain and equal loss, all at high altitude, so it really becomes a hike more than anything. At 0503 Sunday, or 45 hours and 3 minutes later, I finished as 3rd female and 19th overall. Both full days of the race were hot without a cloud in the sky but the first day I could pack snow under my racing hat. It was the rare occasion that I begged for a rainstorm in the mountains. I only projectile vomited once, at mile 27 in the heat of the first afternoon. It somehow felt appropriate to vomit on my first full day as a 38-year old woman doing an ultra-marathon. I also ran off course about 1.5 miles around mile 36, not a flat and easy departure, but a full send up a steep technical mountainside only to realize I had lost all the course flagging and other humans. I used breadcrumbs on my watch to find my way back and again during the first night as I summited Richmond pass alone and there were no flags to be found. I had my first ever experience running into a second night and I began sleepwalking, zoning out and finding myself dangerously close to the edge of a cliff before my brain came back online. I took my first ever "trail nap" that did not include actual sleep, just laying flat with my eyes closed. I learned that closing my eyes and laying down could trick my brain that was getting substantial rest, even if it was only for 5-minutes. The final climb of Ouray is called the Bridge of Heaven and it's >4,800ft and a 10.2 mile round trip. Said another way, it's nearly 5,000ft of climbing in 5 miles, and I'd already gone 95 miles and 36,000ft thanks to my extra credit. I ate 3 slices of pizza at the Fellin Park aid station at around 10pm the second night before starting this climb. The pizza got me up the mountain and the dinosaur chicken nuggets back down. All in all a great affair. On Sunday I had my first river beer and a 3-scoop ice cream cone. On Monday I tackled the Ouray Via Ferrata and had another river beer. How could you not love this birthday?"



Jon Teisher reports to have started a minor league version of the team, named "Square State Hikers". Jon completed the Pikes Peak Ultra 50k in 7:34:47. If you're new to running, that's a really long time to be out there, not Sam Wood long but pretty darn long.


Gerald Romero, new addition to the Striders, will no doubt challenge Adam Rich in pure volume of races completed. No comment from his publicist on rumors of body doubles or Peter Theil-esque blood boy whispers. 

In possibly chronological order:

USATF New Mexico State mountain championship 10k- 10th overall- 1st 50-54 champion- 1:06.    August 6th Sunday -- .6 vertical ski lift climb up too 11,000 feet -- 8th overall.    1st master.  
Estes park- Rocky Mountain 5k and half marathon.   5th overall 5k and 3rd master half marathon.  
Barr trail mountain race-- 1st place 50-59-- 2:04
5k at 10,000 feet- vail-  3rd overall
Cookie chase 5k- USATF 5k road championships - 2nd place 50-54 - USATF-19:11.  
4K on the 4th - 15:48-22nd overall
the vail hill climb-7.6 miles --1st place 50-59. 



Demonstrating how inclusive the Square State Striders are, Brian Fleischmann won the 45+ Swimming Masters Nationals in the 1500m. Just like a parent asking their kid about video games "Are you doin' good son?" We don't have a clue if this mark is good but I'm guessing so since you won and its the nationals. Way to go Brian. You'll always have a place here. Lets screen print some speedos soon. 



Adam Rich as usual mixed it up along the Front Range road race scene. Adam credits recent success to  his recent training camp in Phoenix last month (checks notes, yeah he said Phoenix). 

Donor dash 2nd 16:03 (3.17) (clearly Denver races have been borrowing my AppleWatch to measure race courses tooooootally legit)
Heritage Eagles 6th 15:47.

Lars Heckman, newest addition to the Square State Striders, raced the Pearl St Mile in Boulder this past weekend . Lars clocked a 5:50 officially, but that does not account for the fact that out of pure Midwest chivalry Lars stood at the absolute back of his wave and worked his way through the 4 laps & 13 turns of the exciting Pearl St Mile course. Welcome aboard Lars, great start!




Zach Miller paced 22nd in the Mount Marathon "race", which is exactly what I would imagine a bunch of inebriated Alaskans would come up with if they invented a race 100 years ago. Easily one of the most absurd races out there, scaling 1.5 miles straight up a mountain with no trail or discernible footing, and then back down like you have European universal healthcare to the finish in town. Nice 5k Zach. 

Neil McDonagh, was on a racing diet this summer, deciding to only run 1 mile races. 

East End Mile: 4:41 1st Masters, Neil channeled his 2 years of living in Phoenix by almost giving himself heat stroke by simply running. 
Mile High Mile: A spectacular night of track mile races put on by the Boulder Road Runners. Neil took 8 sec off the Colorado soil masters mile record running 4:27.28. The only problem was Denver ace Anthony Bruns who etched his name less than a second earlier in 4:26.32. Although race director, Todd Straka, was dismayed that stadium lights did not turn on, he made memorable lemonade by pulling in a dealership worth of cars onto the track for ad-hoc lighting. 
Pearl St Mile: 4:34 1st Masters. In this race Neil attempted an impression of Anthony Bruns' previous week performance by going out in sub 4:20 mile pace. Only difference was Neil most definitely slowed at a precipitous rate over the final quarter mile. 




And finally the Square State Striders would like to announce our first sponsor. 





Our local go to all in one custom print supplier. Printing Square State apparel since mid '22 !





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